Heavy in Your Arms Chapter 10: Jump
by laurah1236
Summary: Blake takes Alessandra out to a surprise location, and before the end of the night she ends up admitting much more then intended. As well as admitting to herself a new revelation, Blake may just be her safety net...


"Hurry up, and don't peek," Blake told me as he guided me through what seemed like woods.

"I don't like suprises" I said honestly, I truly didn't. Too much suspense, too much to contemplate.

"Ok, we're here, vuala" he said as he took off my blind folds.

"Oh my gosh, this place is beautiful" I said breathtaken with the view in front of me. Directly in front of me was the most gorgeous waterfall that plummeted to the water area underneath. The water looked like see through crystal blue, I could see all the way to the bottom. To my right was a small field with the greenest grass i'd ever seen, and to my left was more lush greenery.

"What do you want to do first, eat or swim?" Blake asked.

I just stared at him as the setting sun hit down on his perfectly structured face kind of aw struck. His golden-brownish hair almost blonde in the sunlight, and his face gleaming with it, he was beautiful.

"Alessandra...?" he said again probably thinking I had some major mental issues.

"Oh sorry" I said snapping out of my trance. "Uhh...I'm not going swimming, I didn't bring a swimsuit." 'Ha' I thought to myself entitled to feeling clever as he hadn't thought this whole suprise through. He then tossed me a white bikini saying it was his sisters, and he was just borrowing it with a sly look on his face. I bit my lip the way I always did when I was nervous. "Don't worry you can go change over there, I'll be setting up the picnic for afterwards, on the complete other side, I won't look, swear." He really had thought everything through I thought in panic.

_Crap._

I walked myself behind the bushes on the other side of the small grass area. I looked at the small bikini, small was an understatment. It was exactly what I would wear before Michael died, something that screamed for attention, because I was just confident in every essence of the word. I liked the attention, it made me feel good, but now I hide from it at all costs. _Stop being such a wuss_. I thought to myself. It's not like I was at a public beach or anything, it was just me and Blake, which made me even more nervous. I wonder if people would consider this a date, I wonder if he considered this a date. I just came out here with him because it took my mind off things, well most of the time, and I didn't completely hate his company either.

I took a heavy breath and started undressing myself as I could completely see Blake on the other side setting up his little picnic, the bush only covered me to my neck. The bikini was on and I couldn't have felt more uncomfortable if I tried. And once I had mustered up enough nerve I walked around the bushes back to where he was with the small pink towel he had handed me before. He looked at me, not in a wierd uncomfortable way but in a way that reminded me why I had felt confident before. "Ready to go in?" he asked his smile growing bigger. "No, not at all" I replied honestly. He then took off his shirt and I couldn't help but look. I don't think any girl on this earth could have helped it either. He had a perfect body to match his very attractive face. I quickly looked away before he could see me, but I had a feeling he saw me.

He grabbed my hand forcing my towel to drop to the grass. I looked down akwardly, trying to find my long hair in which I could hide myself away, but all I found was my short hair that made me even more insecure. I'm sure my cheeks were beat red. He didn't even look at my body, which I appreciated, as he helped me climb up towards the top of the waterfall. "This is it, jump or I'll push you in, your choice" he said seriously. I bet I looked like a ghost. "I'm just joking, lighten up" he said gently punching my shoulder. "Funny" I replied. I looked down at what awaited me, I'm sure there were no rocks underneath, that wasn't what concered me, what concerned me was the impact of the water, it was mid-August in sunny Florida but I was still concerned on how cold the water might be, but most importantly I hated the sensation of falling.

"Are you scared?" Blake asked. "Me, scared? ha" I said way too unconvincingly. I knew he could totally see through it. "My dad brought me here a couple months ago, he told me to think of anything I wanted to free myself of when I jumped. You should try it." I looked up at him coyly he always had something to say, I couldn't help but smile up at him. He smiled back and offered me his hand. I took it without hesitation this time. We both took a step forward in unison right onto the edge.

"Wait, I can't do this" I blurted out right before we were about to jump. I ran back to a bench a collapsed tree trunk had created and sat myself down on it. He walked towards me and sat beside me before he said " I can't tell you I understand Alessandra, I can't tell you I've been through what you've gone through. I can't. But I can tell you you will get through it." A small tear rolled down my cheek, he wiped it away cautiously touching my face, as if asking if the gesture was ok with me. I didn't object. "I know I'm asking alot of you right now, but I want you to trust me. To let go of the rest of the world, of your past for right now, right this second, and just trust me." I closed my eyes. Breathed in. Then opened them again and took the biggest leap of faith I had ever tooken in my life once I said: "I trust you." I then offered my hand to him and he took it in a heartbeat before pulling me in for a tight hug. We were half naked, but at that moment in time I didn't seem to care, as I found comfort in it. Our bodies melted into one anothers, and i'm positive he could feel my heavy heartbeat going in a chaotic frenzy. His hand rubbed circles on my back, and I just closed my eyes resting my face on his muscular chest taking the moment in, taking the feeling of no worry in. That's when I realized I didn't find comfort in the hug. I found comfort in him.

We walked to the ledge once again, "You don't have to do this alone, this jump, and this life." I smiled, and I felt the light blush on my face. He made me feel safe. Even if it was just for that one second, it still counted. "Get on my back" he said. "What?" I said not understanding. " If we are going to jump, we'll jump together." I stood back and questioned his seriousness and he looked pretty serious. So I cautiously got on his back releived I hadn't had a big meal earlier that would only make me weigh more. "I'm too heavy" I still said uncertainly. "You're a feather" he said as I wrapped my legs around his toned physique. He grabbed my legs securely and I lay my upper body on his back as he counted to three.

I took in my one last breath before we were soaring. It may have been a split second but it was the biggest rush I had, had in my entire life. Exilerating. We hit the water and I found myself untangling myself from his body. I went a couple feet down and could remember opening my eyes taking it all in, taking in the fear and the liberation that followed. I then came back up practically panting. Blake asked me if I was alright out of concern. I suprised myself by swimming towards him and entangling my body back on his in a hug, I was suprised at my forwardness. But in my mind I was thanking him for convincing me to do it. It was exactly what I needed.

We swam around for what felt like half an hour before deciding to get out and eat.

"I took a cooking class last summer, so what would you like? I made Feticcini sphaggetii and chicken and shrimp with red tail." He said. "Is there anything you can't do?" I replied. "uhh, play violin. My mom signed me up when I started middle school, I played it for two years and quit after my mom flat out told me I sucked and made no progress" he said laughing.

"Violin was never my thing either" I said winking back at him jokingly. He smiled back at me.

We sat there eating in silence, it was peaceful. I ate a little bit of everything and complimeneted his cooking skills as his food was absolutely to die for.

We lay there afterwards on the grass, bodies side by side, looking up at the setting sun. My mind is usually far away, from everyone, from everything but not when I was with him that day, not when I lay there next to him. My mind just focused on here and now, it was strange to experience.

"You're stronger then you think" he whispered to me, as we were merely inches away, our glistening bodies practically touching. I turned my head over to him and found him looking back at me. "That makes one of us who thinks that" was all I could find to respond.

"Michael must have been a hell of a lucky guy to have a friend like you" Blake said.

"No, I was the lucky one. He was the greatest thing I had, the greatest thing I'll ever have, and now he's g-gone" I stuttered. "It's like they took away how to breathe" I continued.

"You were in love with him weren't you?" he asked me. It was so sudden, so deliberate. I must have been so obvious.

"I..." was all the words I found. I had never confessed my love for Michael to anyone. Ever. "..._am _in love with him" I choked out.

He looked at me again, his face impossible to read, before he looked away again. He looked completely the other way, not staring up at the sky nor myself. He stayed like that for a while. I didn't question him. I just lay there my heart pounding so hard I swear he could hear it. I had just told him my biggest secret, my biggest pain, I truly had trusted him. I lay there awaiting his response.

"He really was a lucky guy" he responded after a few minutes of silence. I didn't know exactly what to respond to that so I said, "Not that it will ever matter anyway."

"Did he love you back?" he asked. I got up from my laying position and curled up hugging my knees with my arms. He tried to comfort me, to reach out his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off. I couldn't find any will in my body willing to confess to Blake that Michael didn't love me back. That I never told him, that he could have never loved me.

I got up suddenly and dived back into the water, plundging into the now pitch black water looking up at him waiting for his reaction. He simply jumped in after me before apologizing. I told him it was ok. I would have told him anything to drop the subject.

I then swam towards the edge about to get out but not before he could reach me. He turned me around, and it was too late, the tears were already streaming down my face. He didn't ask me why, he didn't question me anymore, probably because I cried too often. Instead he grabbed my hand, he squeezed it, for a second I thought he was actually trying to hurt me. I looked over at him in confusion, he didn't say anything he just took some of my cropped hair out of my face and placed his face mere inches away from mine. I didn't move, I was perfectly still not even breathing. "He was an idiot not to love you back" he said. I felt his breath on my face, I felt it's warmth. I was at a loss for words and his closeness wasn't helping my ability to think. His eyes pierced through mine as we just looked at each other, none of us looking away, till I parted my eyes first. His intensity was too much to handle for so long.

"You know I hear what people say about you at school, and I really don't care what they think, so I want you to sit with me at lunch tomorrow" he confessed randomly a few minutes later.

"How they say i'm a psycopathic freak?, ha" I laughed as I felt my hand glide through my newly shortly cropped hair fludding myself with thoughts, with pain. "But you're not. And whatever the reason for your drastic haircut is none of their bussiness. I love your hair cut, and the way the moonlight hits your face is breathtaking, sit with me tomorrow." I looked up at him in a trance, did he just say that? I should be saying thank you but all I could think about was him saying moonlight. "Oh my God, It's 11:00! I'm so done for. My parents already killed me for my ankle yesterday, then my haircut, and now this. I'm going to be on lockdown, I already am, I'm supposed to be grounded!" I confess rushing out of the water. He follows me out and we head for his car practically soaking wet but not before I manage to trip over his feet and he tumbles on top of me. He stays there, our body inches away, he looked at me strangley as if deciding on doing something. I lay there with my heart racing again, not only feeling the pain of my ankle again, but the pain of his proximity as I looked into his hazel eyes that only reminded me of Michael. I quickly turned my head to the right facing a bush in the distance. He then got off me and helped me up. "I'm a clutz, sorry" is all i managed to get out.

"I'm really sorry for soaking up your car" I say still in my bikini with wet hair as he rushes towards town.

"It's fine really, are you going to change back into your normal clothes?" He asks me.

"Uhh.." Is all I say.

"It's cool, just bring me the bikini to school, you can give it to me then" he explains.

"Thanks Blake, your a good friend" I reply. I found myself in shock as I had just asessed Blake as my friend, without hesitation. I actually didn't mind.

"No problem, see you tomorrow, I hope you don't get into to much trouble, I'm sorry I lost track of time" said Blake as he dropped me off in my driveway. I could already see my parents staring out through the living room window. " If i'm not at school tomorrow, they put me up for adoption" I said jokingly secretly scared to death of what they might consider dispriveledging me of. "By the way, I had _fun_" I said before he gently brushed his hand on mine by accident, but it was enough to send chills up my spine. "I'll be waiting for you at lunch" he replied before I shut the door of his Altima and walked inside my home awaiting the rath of my parents that was my fate. But for the shortest amount of time I didn't care what awaited me because for those few hours I had gotten away from the world, from the pain and found a safety net. Blake was my safety net, which scared the Hell out of me to admit.


End file.
